On the Eve of Becoming a Professor

Tomorrow marks the start of a new semester, and for the first time in 24 years(!), I won't be attending classes. I'll be teaching them.

GULP.

Of course, my faithful readers out there already know that I am making the transition from student to professor. It is very much a dream come true. It is also incredibly terrifying.

I am prepared. I have talked to professors, gotten their advice. I have talked to students, gotten their perspective. My Psalms syllabus in particular has been carefully crafted and re-crafted, taking into consideration what a reasonable workload is for students and what topics will be most important for them and their ministries. I read a variety of texts to make sure I chose the best ones and to supplement my knowledge. I have reached out to professors whose expertise surpasses mine on particular topics (queer readings, for instance!). I checked out the classroom and practiced hooking my tablet up to the projector and using the new version of PowerPoint. I have extra copies of the syllabus and emailed the students a week in advance the information about accessing the course website and the reading assignment for the first class.

In fact, I think the only way I could be more prepared is if I had actually done this before. Of course, if I had done this before, I would probably have known better than to be so overly prepared! I am completely and totally over-thinking this. I know that. I waited until August to start preparing for classes because I knew I would overdo it. I also told myself I could only prepare lecture notes for the first four weeks of classes for the Psalms class and the first week for Greek.

I was feeling completely on top of things until I walked into my classroom for the first time last week to test things out. My stomach dropped. I nearly started to panic. What was I thinking? What was the GTU thinking, asking me to teach these classes? How does one go from taking classes to teaching classes, just like that? I have no training in preparing a lecture or different pedagogical styles. I don't know how to handle it if the class gets out of hand. And what if my students refuse to respect me because I'm just a kid? Oh, and some of my students are some of my best friends. Because that is gonna be totally normal.

And on top of all of this, I am supposed to make it through my comprehensive exams this year. Good thing I'm not an over-achiever or anything.

I did, however, give myself permission to take it easy this past week. I helped out with new student orientation, made some new friends, enjoyed extra snuggles with the pups, vegged out to Buffy marathons, and thoroughly basked in the re-opening of the dining hall. I am feeling more rested and relaxed...and completely nervous about my teaching debut.

But being a bit nervous is a good thing, right? Means I'm taking my responsibility seriously. And that I care about making sure my students not only learn the material but that it is as enjoyable as possible for them.

Teaching. This is my passion. Helping students learn to think about the Bible differently, to find their own passions and to develop them. So yeah, I'm nervous. But this is also what I am supposed to be doing.

I've got this...right?