Last Saturday, I celebrated the wedding of two wonderful people. And what made the wedding even more special was the fact that their love has survived and even thrived against all odds. A straight girl fell in love with a lesbian who is now transitioning to become his true self. It's not exactly the fairy tale we all dreamed of. It's not a love that their families, churches or even the state will acknowledge as legitimate. But it's a real love, a true love, that I hope to one day share with someone. I am honored that I was able to witness their wedding, and to be part of their new family--the family that accepts them for who they are.
Last Saturday was the wedding. Last night was the Prom. At Cana. In true PSR fashion, we broke all the rules and had a prom at seminary, a prom to undo all those traumatic prom memories of not being allowed to take the date you wanted, simply because that person was the same sex as you. Of course, that was not my prom experience. I got to go with the dates I wanted, to both my junior and senior proms, my best friend and then my boyfriend. Overall, my proms were not traumatic experiences, and before it was announced that we were having prom here, I never thought about the ways in which my proms could have been better. But looking back now, I can honestly say that though my prom experiences were not bad, neither were they all that I hoped and dreamed of.
Who knew that a straight girl, whose date was a gay guy, could find healing at a queer prom? Actually, I expected nothing less. At 27, I have finally lived long enough to realize that it's much more fun to look like an idiot and have fun on the dance floor with the people who get me than to play it safe and sit this dance out. And so I danced. And I laughed. And I probably looked like a fool. But I had the time of my life. It was the best date I've ever had, which may just be a sad commentary on my love life, but it was truly amazing. The homiletics prof gave the invocation, but first she explained to us how "dance" is used in the Bible. It is the opposite of mourning and is quite often a form of worship. I think both are accurate descriptions of last night. "Worship" isn't the first word that comes to mind when I think of prom, but living life to its fullest, having an amazing time with amazing people, forgetting about homework and my problems, finding and offering healing to others--isn't that a form of worship, a means of praising God?
I couldn't have asked for a better date. No, it wasn't the boy I like, but he is a dear friend, someone who gets me even when I don't necessarily get myself. And although I am sure he would have rather been at prom with someone else (perhaps the boy he likes!), he made the night all about me, about making me feel special and beautiful, about making me forget about any negative experiences I had at my high school proms.
I've been learning a lot lately about healing. About unexpected healing, at unexpected times, in unexpected ways, from unexpected hurts. And I've been experiencing a lot of healing lately. At prom. At Taize, through singing and through beginning to play the piano again. At the dining hall. In the class room. Talking to friends about seemingly mundane things. Researching topics of deep interest to me. Snuggling a dog. There are some areas of my life where I know I need healing. Other areas, I don't even realize they are hurt and broken until the healing begins. Yeah, the healing can be painful. It can be time-consuming. But even when it hurts, it is exactly what I need. I'm learning a lot about myself, about being me, as I heal.
And so I dance. And laugh. And sing. And have the time of my life.